How Do You Be Empathetic Toward Those Who Lack Empathy?


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I am, generally, a believe-in-the-best-of-people kind of person, if you get what I mean. I am almost naive that way at times & I know it. But, I have learned I am one of those people who can usually put myself in someone else’s shoes. Imagine how they might feel in a particular instance… See their motivation behind their actions, good or bad. I have a good dose of empathy — yet those who lack empathy remain a mystery to me.

EMPATHY. “The ability to understand & share the feelings of another.”

It’s one area that I, personally, reeeeeaaaaallly lack in: Being empathetic towards those who seem to COMPLETELY lack empathy. Or maybe they do have some amount of empathy but just don’t care?

how do you be empathetic toward those who lack empathy, confidence and chaos featuring sweet minerals, reta jayne

It doesn’t compute.

I don’t understand. It just doesn’t compute for me & I really struggle with it.

Normally, I’d push it aside & chalk it up to people living their own lives as they will. I know God will sort us all out in the end. I do.

But, I struggle when I encounter these people — those who lack empathy — who are CLOSE to me, whom I care about, who seem to lack empathy to the degree that they trample on those around them.

I’ve been hurt too many times.

The people I love have been hurt too many times. Even more so, the people whom I feel it is my RESPONSIBILITY to protect & keep as healthy & happy as is within my capabilities have been hurt by these people near me who lack in empathy.

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It’s at that point when I feel I have to cut ties. If boundaries are being ignored over & over & over again… If actions are being taken as if these other people are the center of the world over & over & over again with NO regard for others… There comes a point when you just have to cut ties & be DONE.

But what if those who lack empathy are also family?

Do you still cut ties? If their behavior is becoming toxic to you & causing physical & emotional stress to your household — even if they are family — do you cut ties?

It seems so cut & dry…. Until it kind of isn’t. I try reeeaaaallllly hard NOT to be a do-unto-others-as-they-have-done-to-me kind of person. I’d rather my actions reflect who I really am.

But, dang. This is a conundrum that seems to be an emerging pattern… It’s upsetting.

But, I also know I am definitely in touch with my EMOTIONS if nothing else. 😉 What do YOU think?

Want to continue this conversation?

I’d love to! Email me at [email protected] or shoot me a private message. You can also join me & a bunch of other women over in the Calculated Chaos Community where we are all about empowerment, confidence-boosts, & judgement-free sharing & commiseration. We’d LOVE to have you!

Reta Jayne

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Reta Jayne

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By Reta Jayne

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I am Reta Jayne. I help women learn to love themselves again (or more!) through no-bull discussions about mental health, self-care, & more. Click the email icon to subscribe to & communicate with me via email.

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