Compromise or Cop Out?

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I’ll warn you now, this will come across as a MAJOR pity party to many. .. . But, frankly, I do not care. I think it’s a natural progression of things & I have absolutely no reason to feel bad for it. (Frankly, they almost always wind up with a positive ending, anyway.) With that said, I am starting to think that maybe — just maybe — my goals are all kinds of wrong. . .

Not that I shouldn’t have goals or that I don’t have the ability to kick myself in the ass & actually make them all happen. . . BUT, maybe, I am trying too hard to force myself into something that really is NOT part of my own wiring. If it was something I was intended to do at this particular juncture in my life, I would already be doing it. . . It is a fine line. . .

As an example, recently, I posted about being my own roadblock, & I still think it is true, but I also think that I am setting the wrong goals for myself. For example, in the aforementioned post, I was referring to my goal to go bicycling five days a week, then proceeding to go ONCE & not following up. . . Perhaps, doing SOMETHING active at least every other day could’ve been a more suitable goal for myself. . . Especially if I give myself a few options to compensate for my always-changing mood. . . I have been wanting to get an inexpensive elliptical-type contraption so I could get my heart rate up in the comfort of my own home, for example. . . (I don’t like feeling like I am the center of attention — even if I know I really am not!) My sister is a beach body coach & would LOVE to get me hooked up with ANY one of her programs, if I’d just give it an honest shot. . .

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A dear friend from back in high school, whom I have the pleasure to keep in contact with via Facebook, read my last post & took it as a kick in the ass to start exercising. From the looks of things she has! It’s only been a few days, but it does my heart good to know that I was able to help — even if it was in an indirect, screw-up kind of way. . . Nothing says, “Get your ass in gear” like eliciting feelings of NOT wanting to emulate someone. . . “Hey! Get your ass in gear, or you’ll be like me.” Ha!

Don’t get me wrong. . . I am genuinely happy for her. . . I am just stagnant in my own efforts. I posted the following mini-pity-party status in a Facebook group I belong to called “Thrive Intentionally,” which is facilitated by a fabulous gal named Kristen of When At Home:

I have a (slightly) off-topic question for you ladies. . . In my personal quest to thrive intentionally, I have A LOT of varying goals (as many of you seem to as well), but the ones that I am struggling with the most right now — that has the biggest impact on my mental health, (so to speak), is getting more active!

I am NOT an active person by nature — I am not “outdoorsy” or into playing any sports, my children do not live with me full-time. . . My idea of a good time is reading a book, writing, watching a good movie, preparing a tasty meal. . .

Last year, my husband & I quit smoking about three months before we got married. BOTH those things, I believe, contributed to us packing on quite a bit of weight!! I would be happy with how things are if it weren’t for comparing to the past. I feel like I either need to embrace this bigger version of me OR figure out how to be more active in a way that doesn’t seem like forcing myself into activities that aren’t really a part of my personality. . .

Has (or IS) anyone else struggling with this? Sorry that I am so long-winded today! I guess I just need a bit of guidance &/or encouragement in this area, if anyone can lend some insight. . ..

There were a few comments that were very helpful, but the main one that stuck out was an invitation from one of the gals to start a 30-day butt challenge that she & her husband started the night before, (from the site 30 Day Fitness Challenges)! Now, while I was more focused on cardio activities (& probably will be in the future) this seems like a good thing to at least attempt! Even if I fall short, it will still be better than nothing! AND, maybe — just maybe — my thighs won’t burn quite as bad the next time I decide to go for that bicycle ride! 😉 (Besides, being a mulatto girl — half white & half black, for those of you that may not be familiar with the term — I do have to say that my rear is definitely my WHITE half. Ahem! Just sayin’!)

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Maybe I will get that elliptical-like contraption. . . Or maybe I will do some exercise video in my livingroom or start bicycling more often. . . In the meantime, I am going to try to QUIT being so critical of myself, (as I would NEVER be with my best friends) & focus more on doing SOMETHING — anything! — to be more active than I current am. . . I think that will be a win all by itself — at least for now. 😉

What do you think? Good compromise to get started? OR major cop out? Sound off! (No, seriously, give me your feedback, people. . . Good, bad, or indifferent.)Reta Jayne

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Reta Jayne

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  • I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog
    and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog
    like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% certain. Any recommendations
    or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

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I am Reta Jayne. I help women learn to love themselves again (or more!) through no-bull discussions about mental health, self-care, & more. Click the email icon to subscribe to & communicate with me via email.

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Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
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