Feeling Unworthy or Undeserving? Read this.


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Are you feeling unworthy or undeserving? Like the good things in your life are fluke? You don’t deserve that loving husband or the award at work or WHATEVER it is that is GOOD that has been bestowed upon you? Maybe it is a slew of compliments about something you’ve done or how you look? No matter what it is that you feel you do not deserve, this is for you…

Deserving. Why is it such a loaded word? Why do so many of us feel like we don’t deserve the good things in life or that we do deserve the bad ones?

feeling unworthy or undeserving, read this, confidence & chaos, reta jayne, from the heart of pie

What’s the root?

A traumatic or abusive past? A history of mental health issues? Low self-esteem? It is important for you to take a few moments to get to the bottom of WHY you’re feeling unworthy in the first place. You don’t have to dwell in that negative space, but it isn’t a bad idea to understand from where those feelings are coming.

“HELP” isn’t a BAD four-letter word.

If it is too difficult to do on your own, enlist the help of a trusted friend, spouse, or family member. Even better? Find a psychologist in your area. There is absolutely NO shame in seeking an unbiased ear to which to unload your thoughts & insecurities too. There is a reason it’s called “therapy.” 😉

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Realize you have a purpose.

Every person on Earth has a purpose for their life. You are no different. To someone, you are THE world. Remember that. What is it that you’re good at doing? Is there a compliment you get fairly frequently? What is something you enjoy doing so incredibly much? You are living this life for a reason! Find what makes you happy & DO
MORE OF IT! I promise, simply doing this bit, you will start to feel so much more deserving & worthy of the life you’re living!

Protect your space.

You hear it all the time: “Find your tribe.” What does that even mean?! Let me break it down. Go find the people who “get” you. Hold onto those people. And the ones who don’t? LET THEM GO! I’m not even joking! You don’t owe them anything! If people cannot respect you & talk to you like a human & equal, why are you allowing them to keep doing it? Why are they still allowed space? CUT THEM OFF! I cannot stress this enough. If someone’s (or something’s) presence constantly brings up negativity in you, do like Elsa in “Frozen” & “Let [Them] Go!”

Feed the right wolf.

Have you heard the story about the grandfather talking to the boy telling him there are two wolves inside of every person? Long story, short: One wolf is all that is good in the world. He is compassionate & constantly learning, seeking to see others’ perspectives. The other wolf is pure evil. He is self-centered, all-consuming, already knows everything & won’t budge. These two wolves are in everyone & are constantly FIGHTING. So, how do you know which wolf will win this fight inside YOU? It’s simple. Decide which one to feed!

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Soak it up!

So, how do you feed that “good wolf”? Soak up all the goodness around you! Read mindset books. (Or listen to them on Audible for free.) Involve yourself in activities that give back. Foster those friendships that encourage you to be your best self. Just as you need to shut out the negativity, you need to pull in the positivity.

Remember to look UP!

I am a Christian. So, for me, this means looking to God. Finding quiet time. Finding fellowship. Learning about God’s word. (This is my current bible; not too many “thous” & “thees” & a little easier for a “newbie” to understand. 😉 ) It’s sooo important! I do leave room for those of you who are not Christian. But, most have something higher, bigger than us, we look to. The Universe? Fate? Buddha? Destiny? Science? I don’t know everything that is out there.

Have faith.

And, even if you believe that NOTHING is out there, you can still look up. Have faith in humanity. Your ability to learn? Have faith in it. GOD. Your loved ones. Have faith in SOMETHING. Because, when you have faith, your burdens are lifted. You know you’re worthy. You can see you’re a part of a much bigger picture… & you can see that what you put out into the world DOES come back to you… So if you are receiving & experiencing GOOD THINGS, you MUST be putting GOOD THINGS out into the world. How is that unworthy or undeserving?

I don’t expect this one blog article to totally change the world. But, frankly, if it helps even one person start to view themselves in a better light, I will consider it a success. Are you that person? Do you know someone who is likely feeling unworthy & maybe needs a reminder of their VALUE & worthiness in this world? Share this with them! And, if someone shared this with YOU, I hope you realize how special you are & that there is one person who obviously SEES you & recognizes how deserving you are to be in their life too. <3

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Are you still feeling unworthy or know it’s a recurring pattern for you?

If you’d like more ways to feel uplifted & empowered in a safe space on the InterWebs, please accept this invitation to also join us over in the Calculated Chaos Community. We are a group of women who are learning to boost our confidence & build ourselves & each other up. Feeling unworthy or undeserving doesn’t have to continue to be a norm. We’d love to have you!


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About the author

Reta Jayne


By Reta Jayne

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I am Reta Jayne. I help women learn to love themselves again (or more!) through no-bull discussions about mental health, self-care, & more. Click the email icon to subscribe to & communicate with me via email.

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Bible Verse of the Day

You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah