October 21, 2018

How to Overcome Negative Self Talk

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Do you ever take a step back from time to time & wonder, “What the Hell have I done with my life?” Or, maybe, you start thinking about all the things you should have accomplished by now – all the things you should have or be or get to do at this particular stage in your life. Even more so, what about letting all of that snowball into feeling like you can just never get anything right or reach your goals. You think, the “common denominator” is YOU… Maybe there is something innately WRONG with you. If only you could overcome this negative self talk…

I probably do all of the above way more often than is healthy. (Hey! I am honest!) That said, I am learning to stop & refocus where I let my thoughts go. I am learning to curb this negative self talk. Instead of looking at all the things I did wrong – or haven’t accomplished yet – Maybe there is something innately WRONG with you.

Reflect.

This time of year is a time of reflection for me. My birthday is next month, then before you know it, the new year is upon us. THIS year, the self-reflection has begun a bit early. TODAY is an anniversary for me. On this day last year I started my journey with Sweet Minerals!

I bought the kit because I liked what I was seeing about the mineral products & could see there were resources to be able to learn how to use the stuff. (I am NOT a glam girl!) The VALUE of the kit exceeded anything else I could think of trying & I couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to try anyway! So, I got it intending to cancel being a Sweet Educator & gift the parts of my kit I didn’t want. (The holidays, after all, were right around the corner.)

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Be willing to change paths.

Obviously “kit-napping” Sweet Minerals didn’t happen! Between my LOVE for the products (how easy they are to use, how my skin LOVES them, & how *I* feel using them) & the women I have met in the Sweet Minerals community (on my “team” or not, they are ALL a Sweet Family & that is UNIQUE), I just couldn’t cancel. I felt I had to give it a shot!

And, here we are a year later. This brings us back to that negative self talk. What have I done with this year? I set BIG goals & I am NOWHERE near them! What the heck am I even doing?

Surround yourself with the right people.

A good friend – who happens to ALSO be my Sweet Minerals mentor who I was RANDOMLY placed under when I joined! – reminded me, it isn’t where we are; it is HOW FAR WE’VE COME.

So, I indulged her. Instead of the negative self talk, I thought about how far I have come in this year.

Focus on how far you have come, not how far you’ve yet to go.

For me, I was pleasantly surprised at what I could list! That negative self talk was actually shoved aside!

  • I am able to contribute financially to my family without a ton of stress when I do it.
  • I have a TON of new women friends whom I treasure & whom I wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to meet if it weren’t for Sweet Minerals.
  • My confidence is through the roof most days as a direct result of Sweet Minerals – the products I wear & use AND the accomplishments it affords me.
  • I have promoted THREE TIMES in this past year! As a result, I am in a leadership position with the company! (I NEVER thought that would happen for me – especially in this industry!)
  • I came THISCLOSE to earning an all-inclusive trip to Cancun. SOOOOO close! Almost embarrassingly close! (In all honesty, this is one of the things I beat myself up for — negative self talk GALORE — but I remind myself it is pretty RAD that I came so close in the first place!)
  • I have earned too many incentives to count, awards for being in the top of the company for various things, & all kinds of flat out GIFTS. (Who does that?!)
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Evaluate what you’ve learned from this exercise.

For me, most of all? My time with Sweet Minerals, thus far, has taught me that God has my back even when I don’t realize it. I needed Sweet Minerals. He showed me my path before I even knew it would be my path. I needed my sponsor, Freddie, in my life. She is a great friend, coach, encourager. She is a fabulous EXAMPLE on how to “do life.” I admire her greatly & can’t tell you how many times I have thanked God for helping our paths cross through Sweet Minerals.

Decide how to proceed based on your newfound perspective.

At our Sweet Retreat – the Sweet Minerals version of a direct sales “convention” – we prayed at our leadership dinner before our meal. We prayed at the start of a few of our sessions. This is HUGE! It tells me A LOT about where I am going.

I don’t share this to preach. Why do I share then? Even if you aren’t a Christian as I am, most people can at least recognize that the type of company that does this & encourages this openly is probably a company of high integrity. I EXPERIENCE IT. There’s no phoniness about it. All of the founders make themselves available to all of us, give us a voice in SO many things, & genuinely care about us as people. The COMMUNITY I get to be a part of is reason enough to hope I see many more anniversaries with Sweet Minerals…

How does this change your negative self talk?

Though I came into this anniversary with some negative thoughts & that voice telling me I am not good enough & haven’t done enough, I can honestly say that what I *have* done in this year has been AMAZING for me as a person – not just as an entrepreneur. That negative self talk has less of a hold, realizing that.

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I am going into my second year partnered with Sweet Minerals with a lot of BIG GOALS again. After this reflection, I can see now that BIG GOALS are okay. I wouldn’t have made it as far as I have & accomplished as much as I have without them… It is OKAY that I didn’t reach all of them – YET! Setting those goals in the first place kept me dedicated & consistent… & every baby step I accomplished & award or praise or promotion or woman blessed along the way boosted my confidence just a little more.

If nothing else, here’s something to remember.

If you find yourself in a similar position, doubting yourself & your accomplishments, I hope you remember this story. I hope you remember that you can pause & see how far you have come instead of focusing on how far you still have to go. There’s A LOT to be said for celebrating ALL wins & not just the big ones, y’all!

I can’t wait to see what I have to say about it when I look back again NEXT year…

If you’d like to continue this conversation, please come see me in the Calculated Chaos Community; there, women gather to boost their confidence & find empowerment in our judgement free corner of the InterWebs. You’re also welcome to email me at [email protected] or private message me over on Facebook. 😉Reta Jayne

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