January 27, 2013

It’s Not Personal; It’s Practical

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It has been QUITE some time since I even entertained the idea of marriage. I have been content with the thought that if I ever married, I would without-a-doubt be MUCH older. This just goes to show that meeting the perfect person FOR ME has made ALL the difference in the world. I have absolutely no doubts that this is the man who I will spend the rest of my life with. It’s quite a lovely feeling. 

Now that we have our wedding date set, however, I am realizing why so many people are choosing to elope these days… It is SO easy to get caught up in what everyone ELSE wants or expects for OUR wedding day.  Don’t get me wrong; no one has been over-the-top pushy about anything at this early stage in the game. Perhaps that will never actually be the case. I do consider myself to be a fairly empathetic person, however, & it is DEFINITELY more difficult than I anticipated to balance what WE want & need in our special day with what OTHERS are hoping for. It IS important to me that our day involves family. BUT, it is also important to me that it is a small, short, sweet ceremony that does not involve a ton of stress in planning OR execution. I refuse to go into further debt as a result of ONE day out of our lives — even if it IS an important day. We are simple people. We do not need extravagance & GRAND gestures. We just need sincerity & love. This is how I see it.

ALSO READ:  What Makes a Family?

Part of controlling our costs (& sanity) & being true to our nature means making the difficult decisions on where to draw the  line on invites —  & where to keep tradition & where to throw it out the window. These are all OUR decisions to make & I am confident that, while not everyone will be overly thrilled with how things turn out, he & I will make the decisions that are best for US. With this said, if our wedding day plans mean that we miss out on celebrating with some of our loved ones — related or not — this does not mean that we do not wish to celebrate with them in some way or another. We can meet up for coffee or drinks or lunch or simply to say “Hi!”

We are SO blessed to have SO many people who mean so much to us in our lives. I just hope that those that are not on that tiny little guest list for OUR elopement will understand that the choice is not personal, it’s PRACTICAL. That’s the “dirty” honest truth.Reta Jayne

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