What a Mess!


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Dishes get left in the sink, laundry stays piled up, the floor needs to be swept & mopped. . . It’s not horrific, I suppose, BUT, it IS just an hour or so of good, solid effort to kick the house up to the next notch of cleanliness. What makes it even more frustrating is that it’s on my mind & I want to do it.

Yet I don’t.

The clutter around me, however, is nothing in comparison to the clutter within me.

Messy Mind

It’s frightening sometimes.

It’s sad other times.

And, still others, it is infuriating.

But, just because I feel those ways about it doesn’t mean those feelings will change my reality. It just doesn’t.

The clutter around me & the clutter within me are closely related. The more cluttered my mind is, the harder time I have focusing on getting done what needs to get done, so the more cluttered my surroundings get too.

It’s not just the “unsavory” chores that don’t get done; it’s things I want to do that get shoved aside too.

I had a really great idea (thanks to a quick brainstorm with the handsome husband!) for a short story that would follow this week’s Two Shoes Tuesday prompts, but I just couldn’t get the jumble of thoughts in my mind to sort out into something resembling coherence. . . So, I didn’t.

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I am lucky I could piece these sentences together — which means the chaos in my head isn’t nearly as destructive as it has been in the past.

It is what it is. . . & part of what it is seems to be me going off on tangents just because I feel the urge. . .

SO, tonight/this morning, instead of writing a short fictional story to share here, & instead of getting a decent word-count in on my work-in-progress, I went off & lost myself in social media. Did you know that until this weekend, I had a Twitter account, but rarely used it? I think, between it & Facebook, my social media needs are MORE than met at this point. 😉 Maybe one day I will get better at Google+, but I doubt it. 😉

So, I will go get one load of dishes done, one load of laundry, & a quick sweep of the kitchen. . . Then, I will pat myself on the back for at least writing this, tell myself I will do better tomorrow, & curl up with my kindle to read the last bit of “An Echo in the Bone” by Diana Gabaldon (because I am hooked on pretty much all things Outlander these days).

This was written to clear the chaos of my mind, but also in participation of Two Shoes Tuesday, whose prompts for the week were “jumble” or “junk.” (It’s like it was meant to be, eh?) Click here to see what others came up with (& don’t forget to feed my social media addiction by clicking the links above to follow me. 😉 )

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Reta Jayne


    • Thanks, Romi! That occurred to me about five minutes before I wrote it. LOL. If I can’t write what I had meant to, I might as well write about how I am feeling, right? 😉

  • Tangled thoughts maybe but what a delightful ramble through your mind. Facebook has made us very much like lemmings (although their suicidal tendencies are in doubt). The danger is that if something does replace it, it will be infinitely worse!

  • Feta Jane this was a perfect description of what often goes on with me – both inside and in my house. Things get jumbled and cluttered, and I get frustrated, so end up turning away and distracting myself on the computer… and doing nothing of what needed my attention. You are to be commended for getting one of each thing done at least, getting started is the hardest part. I suspect we might all be doing ourselves a favor if our techno-gizmos had time locks that shut down after an hour or so and refused to interact until another hour had passed. But I do so love blogging and Facebook! :-). In a way they are my therapy too. And I have laundry in the washer, so for tonight I’m doing ok! I loved this post… it was honest and real, that’s the writing I like best. Insight into ourselves is always the first step, we know that we have the power to change the things about us we would like to be different, just do it in small pieces, we can’t change everything all at once!

    • You’re so right. . . In a way, all this technology IS therapy too. . . It’s so much easier to type my thoughts than to write them. . . & living so far away from my closest friends & family, technology is what helps me feel a bit more connected. . . Either way, the small pieces ARE the key. . . 😉

  • I think there are times we are just a mess and that’s ok. I have found I do have to turn off the gadgets for a day or two now and then just to clean up my brain…if you know what I mean.
    For all the angst, this was a fun post. I think you are doing fine.

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I am Reta Jayne. I help women learn to love themselves again (or more!) through no-bull discussions about mental health, self-care, & more. Click the email icon to subscribe to & communicate with me via email.

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Bible Verse of the Day

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.